Longevity

One way to think about "what to do with your life" is to figure out a few simple guiding principles to help you make decisions. For example, in one blog post, I talked about being kind to future you, so when faced with a decision, you would choose the path that would make life easier/better for yourself in the future. Today I want to share the idea of "longevity." What skills will allow you to keep your options open as you grow older? Does it mean you get a college degree? Or does it mean that you set the foundation for starting your own business? Or if you are older, does it mean you get certified in another field? Longevity is an individual decision, and thinking about your options with this lens can be helpful.

Quotable Quotes: Ralph Nader

I'm not sure where I first heard this quote by Ralph Nader: "There can be no daily democracy without daily citizenship." 

Daily citizenship is not so easy to fit into daily life, so that gives pause as to where democracy will evolve.

Check It Off Challenge

I wanted to share the concept of a "Check it off challenge" which comes from my favorite organizing website Simplify 101. I couldn't find the original blog post, but I did find this Facebook post which describes the idea: "Do you feel overwhelmed by your to-do list? If so, join Simplify 101's Check-It-Off Challenge. All that’s involved is creating a list of 30 tasks that have been hanging out on your to-do list for a little too long and committing to getting them done in the next 30 days." I also found this Pinterest post that has a picture of Aby's list.

When Aby first posted about this in 2019, I jumped at the idea - and I still have my list which ran from February 1-28, 2019. What I love about this concept is making the list is very liberating because all the "to do's" are in one place. Then, you can decide if you even want to do the item and if you don't, no big deal - you can easily eliminate it without guilt. There is also less "mind clutter" because everything is on paper to remind you.

Also, in the spirit of "things don't have to be perfect," notice that I've posted this idea not on the 1st of the month!

Favorite Things: Simplify 101

Many years ago (September 2009, if memory serves), I discovered the online organizing destination Simplify101. It was an amazing space where I took online classes - back then, they were asynchronous written lessons, some with video content - and the best part was the online community forum where we could discuss our organizing challenges. I made friends from around the world, and lucky me, made a friend from a neighboring town! Although Aby doesn't run real-time classes anymore, she still offers asynchronous classes on her website. I've taken all these classes when they were originally offered, and they have helped me so much (no more "junk drawer"). I think the biggest takeaway (see yesterday's blog post) is that keeping an organized home is an ongoing process.

An organized home

I've made some progress over the years in creating an organized home. For example, there is no longer a "junk drawer" in our house - that's basically the catch all cabinet drawer that holds stuff that has no home. I've also succeeded in decluttering toys and clothes the kids have outgrown. However, I still struggle with paper and other "stuff" that ends up in piles around the house. Recently, I started a youth life coaching program, and as part of the training, each student coaches and is coached by another student, and we each choose real life issues that we want to work on. I was definitely "ready, willing and able" to engage, and I chose creating an organized home as my project. I am really looking forward to it. My first homework was to recycle piles of old newspapers - you know, the ones you think you'll read, but you never will! I got rid of them all. One step at a time!

Here's Exactly What To Do

I found Mel Robbins' new Audible podcast "Here's Exactly What To Do" and am enjoying it. I know there was a time in my life when I didn't want anyone to tell me what to do. But some times, it can be liberating when there is someone telling you "here's exactly what to do" because then you don't have to do any thinking, and you can just follow instructions. So far I've listened to episode 1: get and stay motivated (hint: there's no such thing as motivation, because basically you will never feel like it, so figure out a way to be kind to your future self and do it anyway) and episode 5: how to stop worrying (hint: ask yourself, what if it all works out?). There are 14 episodes and I'm looking forward to listening to them all.

One Step at a Time

In yesterday's blog post of approaching unknowns "one step at a time," I mentioned it in the context of unpredictable events. Today I wanted to extend this idea as good advice for all aspects of life - from the mundane to the extreme.

How you think affects how you feel which then affects how you behave. So if you start to have catastrophic thoughts (everything is going wrong! I'll never figure it out, it's too overwhelming), these thoughts likely will make you feel stressed or anxious which in turn might make you behave in an unproductive manner (substance abuse to dull the feelings, overeating, not eating, etc). 

Therefore, I offer the idea of "one step at a time" as a way to stop catastrophic thinking before it starts. It's an idea that modern cognitive behavioral therapy uses a lot, and is also present in the ancient Stoic philosophy and idea of "Dichotomy of Control." It's not easy to embrace these ideas, but they are quite powerful and helpful if you try.

What is your metric of success?

What do you want from life? Who do you want to be / grow into? How will you know when you have achieved your definition of "success"?

I think this idea of envisioning what your life will look like, how you will feel, who/what surrounds you, is a useful technique for first figuring out what you think you want, and then using this vision to figure out a path to make this dream a reality.

For me, I want calmness and happiness, and I also like predictability (some might call this boring-ness). However, many of us realize that life is actually very unpredictable. So in those times, I think it's important to take the unknowns one step at a time, and not think too far in advance because that becomes overwhelming, which then becomes paralyzing.

Quotable Quotes: Professor Sam Wang

 Professor Wang is a professor of neuroscience at Princeton University. He is also interested in fair election maps representation via the Princeton Gerrymandering Project and fair election cycles via the Princeton Election Consortium. I had a chance to speak with him prior to the November 2020 presidential election because I was coordinating a webinar for AlumniCorps where I volunteer as the NJ area committee co-chair. 

Anyway, the whole point of today's blog post is I asked if his organization would consider taking on an AlumniCorps fellow. I mentioned that our fellowships have minimum salary and benefit requirements, etc. We discussed a bit further, and he concluded with this pithy comment:

"One cannot say yes to everything."

It was unexpected, and it was perfectly succinct. It is an honest way to frame that the synergy isn't there just yet.

P.S. About a year later, his organization did sign on as an AlumniCorps partner!

"long arm of the law"

I never understood the meaning of "long arm of the law" and I continue to struggle with understanding this phrase when there are so many instances of people appearing to "get away" with bad behavior that isn't technically illegal. Are there any consequences outside the legal system? This next leads me to wonder how does a person learn what is right and what is wrong?

Favorite Things: Pentel erasers and eraser caps

I love products that make life just a little easier such as Pentel erasers - no more eraser streaks or torn paper! Then I discovered Pentel makes eraser caps from the same "hi-polymer" material - transformational! I'm no longer beholden to the inconsistent eraser quality that comes with a standard #2 pencil. These eraser caps are relatively inexpensive so it is easy to be generous and use them as a standard accessory even when the original eraser is intact.

Movement, part 2

So, the online "group personal training" class was good, however, I probably should have realized signing up for a class, in and of itself, was not going to motivate me to incorporate movement into my life. Sure, it will give me exercises to do, and that is good, but I am going to need to spend some time figuring out why I am so lazy about moving (i.e. doing some exercise) when I claim that I want to be able to keep moving as I age (get older)! Maybe it has something to do with why I stopped blogging for a while ... trying to make a plan around movement "perfect"?

The Happiness Advantage

I love the book "The Happiness Advantage" by Shawn Achor which I first discovered and read in July 2019. This book was part of my personal development "plan" (at the time, it was just reading interesting books, and has since evolved to a loosely structured self improvement / perpetual learning plan - it's amazing how much you can learn from books!) and influenced my thinking about positive psychology and "how you think affects how you feel." I find it so interesting that so many books, speakers and seemingly different ideas are all interconnected to this idea of "how you think affects how you feel," i.e. modern Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and the Stoic philosophy of "Dichotomy of Control" - what is in your control and what is not in your control, and more.

Kindness

If I had to choose just one family value, it would be kindness. If you feel happy, it is easy to be kind. It's as simple as a kind word to a friend or a smile to a stranger. Being kind makes you feel good, and it makes the other person feel good too. Kindness builds connection between people, and is something you can practice until it becomes a part of the genuine you. Kindness builds upon kindness, and I believe the words "they are a kind person" is the highest compliment anyone could give.

A Personal Board of Directors

I think everyone needs a personal "board of directors." I first heard about this concept from the Coursera "Introduction to Personal Branding" MOOC (massive open online course) by Kimberley Barker of the University of Virginia (I highly recommend this course.)

Ms. Barker recommends choosing people who 1) you admire and respect, 2) care about you and want you to succeed and 3) will be honest with you. Having a personal board is a way for you to share what you are working on and getting feedback as to whether your goals are realistic, and accountability for following through on those goals.

Who is on your board?

Quotable Quotes: Henry Rollins, part 2

I wanted to revisit last week's short Henry Rollins clip where he says:

"Young person: you'll find in your life, that sometimes your great ambitions will be momentarily stymied, thwarted, marginalized, by those who were perhaps luckier, come from money, where more doors opened, where college was a given. It was not a student loan, it was something that dad paid for, to where an ease and confidence in life was almost a birthright, where for you, it was a very hard climb. You cannot let these people make you feel that you in any way have been dwarfed or outclassed. You must really go for your own and realize how short life is. You got what you got, so you got to make the most of it. You really can't spend a whole lot of time worrying about his. You really have to go for your own."

These words are powerful and a good reminder that there is always someone out there who is luckier in one or more aspects of their life, compared to you. So what? Go make the most of what you've got, and focus on yourself!

Google Calendar Sync

It's been a while since I learned about this Google Calendar sync "trick" - so I've forgotten a bit about the frustrations of not having my calendars sync across devices, which I solved when I discovered this link:

https://calendar.google.com/calendar/u/0/syncselect

Take a look and see what you think.

Favorite Things: Scribd

I am both frugal and skeptical, so when introduced to a new idea, I often question: "what's the catch?" or "what will go wrong?"

My situation is I wanted to listen to audiobooks, however, the public library, while having an impressive collection, did not always carry the titles I wanted. Amazon's Audible service had lots of titles, but you either had to purchase the title individually which was paying almost list price, or you bought credits in advance which was a little less expensive.

In researching alternative services, I came across Scribd which is like Netflix for books and audiobooks. It almost seemed too good to be true. For a fixed price, I could listen to or read as many books in their catalog as I wanted. I read mostly nonfiction (psychology, behavioral economics, time management, etc) and Scribd carried many of the titles I searched, so I signed up for a 30 day free trial. I don't understand their business model, but I feel like I get my money's worth of reading / listening for the annual fee. So I couldn't tell you "what's the catch."

All I know is it's been two years since I first signed up, and I just renewed my annual subscription to start my 3rd year, and I still love it. Here's a 60 day free trial link; if you end up signing up, I'll get a 30 day extension on my subscription.

Movement

I've decided I need assistance in working towards my body goal of movement, so I signed up for an online group physical training class through the Princeton Adult School. It starts next week and I had an introductory chat with the instructor about my goals. I'm not looking to become Mrs. Olympia/Universe. In brief, my goal is simply to be able to move without pain as I get older. Whereas before the pandemic, I used to walk most weekdays with a friend, I now need to overcome several years of inertia. And since I am currently working on my goal of life coaching, I figure I could use some coaching myself!

Extreme Ownership

I first learned of this book Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin because my son was listening to the audiobook. I started listening too, and I was hooked. I interpreted "extreme ownership" as: if you are a leader, and things go wrong, it is all your fault. This realization and acceptance was very liberating because if you accept ownership of the problem, this means you also have agency over the solution.

Another takeaway is the only meaningful test of a leader is whether a team succeeds or fails. There are two measures of a leader: effective or ineffective. The leader is fundamentally responsible for everything; that is extreme ownership.